Everyone knows that Grandmas and Moms are different creatures. Moms lay down the law; Grandmas come up with reasons why whatever happened couldn't have been their grandbaby's fault. Moms force-feed balanced meals complete with vegetables; Grandmas consider ice cream a complete meal in itself. Moms get exasperated when the kids don't pick up after themselves; Grandmas find pleasure in picking up after the little tykes.
While Moms and Grandmas can sometimes butt heads about the line between spoiling and showing affection, it is becoming evident to me that Grandmas serve a special role in the life of a child. In a word: FUN.
Tonight we are spending the night with Grammy and Pop (and my almost-ex...) in preparation for our first new-family vacation at my in-laws' camp in Maine. (The ex won't be there this trip . . . we're saving that for August!)
As soon as we walked into the door, my kids were bouncing off the walls. They were greeted with hugs, kisses, and presents. Ranita got a ball and bat; Chinquita has a bowling set. They are ostensibly for use at Camp, but I will not be remotely surprised if they find themselves driving back home to Carolina with me next week!
I used to argue with my in-laws about the gifts. I do not come from a family of random gift-givers. We give gifts on Christmas and birthdays. Period. To my in-laws, any time they see their grandkids is a holiday. In vain have I demurred, "But I don't want them expecting gifts every time they see you! I want them to love you for you, not just for your stuff!"
I still feel that way, but I think we've compromised a bit. I have stopped griping about the gifts (mostly); they have reduced the volume and frequency of the gifts (a little).
The best example of why grandmas are important came to me during bath time tonight. I think I have already revealed that I am a utilitarian bath-giver. My motto is "Get in, get clean, and get out." I don't play in the bath. Sometimes we will sing silly songs, but that's the extent of it!
Grammy's baths are a whole different experience. She has a big jaccuzzi-style bathtub, so after the kids gets all clean, she hits the jets for 10 minutes. The shampoo in the water explodes into a thick foam, and the kids spray it all over. Grammy laughs. I think, "What a mess!"
The kids are in heaven.
Not only that, but I notice that the emotional stress of the day has disappeared from their cherubic faces. I couldn't have done that for them because, frankly, the exhaustion is still hanging on me like widow's weeds.
Thank God for Grammies!
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