Coffee's On

I am in the process of learning to take care of myself.  By that, I mean I am trying to take a step back and observe what my physical, spiritual, and emotional needs are and then fill them. 

Some people are good at that.  My mother recounts a story of her best friend sitting down to eat lunch while her kids were clamoring for her attention.  Rather than jumping up to wait on their every need, she calmly finished eating and then addressed their needs. 

At one time I would have thought that selfish of Mom.  Now I see that it was most likely very wise of Mom.  Providing for others requires that you have something of your own to give.  When we are overly hungry, tired, emotionally drained, we have nothing good to give.  Rather than giving bread to our children (spouses, friends, etc.), we are more likely to give a stone. 

Today I was blessed to have a day that met my need for girl time.  Two of my friends--one planned, one impromptu--shared a cup of coffee with me . . . as well as some delightful conversation. 

I don't know what it is about a coffee klatch that gives me a little extra "oomph."  There is, of course, the caffeine . . . although I usually brew decaf, so that doesn't really apply.  Maybe there's just something in the flavor of coffee that tricks my brain into thinking it's been given a shot of energy!

There's also the fact that I'm sitting.  We moms don't do that very often.  Laundry, dishes, meals, playtime . . . we do it all on our feet.  And the few things we do sit down for--eating, paying bills--end up feeling more like work as we train our youngsters in appropriate table manners and juggle the dollars and cents. 

Coffee break with the gals is a different kind of sitting--the restful kind!  Today we sat outside in the lawn chairs, watching the kids drive their dune buggy all over the yard (and occasionally each other!), lazing in the shade, watching the sun creep across the sky.  Talk about bliss!  I can't remember the last time I just sat in my yard visiting!  No wonder my great-grandparents' generation made it a regular part of their routine! 

What I think I enjoyed the most was the intimacy.  I learned things about both my friends that I hadn't known before.  Their backstories, their current struggles, their ups and downs were opened up to me, and I was honored by the gift. 

Social media can be a wonderful thing.  We can keep in touch with friends all over the world at little to no cost in either time or money.  If used judiciously, it can even help maintain friendships that were developed in person decades in the past. 

The danger with social media, as many have noted before I, is that it can create a false sense of intimacy.  You may know many personal details about a person, but you never actually communicate one on one with that individual. 

Not so over coffee.  Sharing done over java is as personal as can be.  You not only tell your story, you are at the mercy of the raised eyebrows, puzzled frowns, or unbidden laughter of the individual across the table. 

On the other hand, you are also blessed by the accepting nods, the empathetic giggles, and somber sympathy of that same person. 

I was so blessed today.  Twice.  I hope they were, too.