I don't do fortunes. There are some strong words in the Bible prohibiting the use of mediums and the like, so I generally avoid them like the plague. With one exception.
Fortune cookies.
I have to admit I get a kick out of fortune cookies. In fact, I have 3 taped to the bread box in my kitchen.
The first I got over a year ago, when my then-husband and I were supposedly trying to save our marriage. It says: "A new romance is in the future." I still remember the feeling of panic when I read it. I looked at him and said, "This had better be you." He laughed. I didn't. I repeated, "I'm not kidding. This had better be you."
It wasn't.
Since he's the one with the girlfriend and I'm the one scrambling to bring peace, stability, and tranquility to a tumultuous home front, I sometimes wonder if perhaps that one was meant for him. But maybe not . . . so I hold onto it.
The second one came shortly after my divorce hearing. It says: "A new environment makes all the difference." This one was 100% accurate. I had purchased new curtains for the living room and repotted some plants, only to find that my house felt like a completely different place. Brighter. Lighter. More open. More me.
Good fortune cookie.
The third arrived shortly after the finalization of the divorce. It says: "Do not give up; the beginning is always the hardest." Boy is that the truth! I don't need to go into all the reasons it's true . . . you've been following my blog and know why!
Sunday afternoon I received the fourth: "If you know what you're doing, you're not learning anything."
In the last week I have been thrown into a situation--again!--for which I was completely unprepared in every way. The learning curve is hard and fast and extraordinarily painful. (It makes going through a divorce look like a day at the beach. When I feel free to share more, I most assuredly will. Look for a book . . . or several!)
I am suddenly navigating a world of new acronyms, procedures, personalities, and appointments. Exhaustion--emotional as well as physical--is again my constant companion. The progress that I had made toward a "new normal" seems to have been ripped to shreds.
When I recall the words of that fortune, however, I tell myself that--at the very least--I am getting an education. It is a cold comfort sometimes, but I'll take comfort at any temperature right now!
While it's nice to receive tailor-made fortune cookies, I don't think I'm ready for any more new romances or new environments or new beginnings or new lessons. To that end, I'm swearing off Chinese food until after January 1st. (I am looking forward to a new year. It would have to be pretty darn awful to beat this one!)
The next time I get the urge for an egg roll, I'm going to take a good long look at my bread box . . . and order a pizza.
The fortunes are uncanny, coming at the time they did--the first being at the time your ex was already with the other woman, if I trace your timeline correctly based on other posts?
ReplyDeleteThe last one is reminiscent of Prov 20:24: "A man’s steps are from the LORD; how then can man understand his way?" This has been one of my steady anchors in a world which has careened, beyond my understanding, into the strangest set of tribulations.
"Our God is in heaven. He does all he pleases," even with fortune cookies and dreams. The timing, of course, is His, and rarely seems to be immediate though always imminent--always on the threshold so that we ask, "How long, oh Lord?"
BTW, I don't think #2 can be reduced to new curtains.
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