The Gift of "Space"

Pregnancy is a funny thing.  Every woman--every couple--experiences it differently.  I remember well the waiting prior to conceiving my son, the delight when I discovered I was pregnant, and the immediate thought, "My life will never be the same."

It is that very thought, I think, that can make pregnancy, especially an unplanned one, so terrifying.  For your life never will be the same.  Whatever choice you make . . . raise the baby yourself, give him up for adoption, or abort her . . . your life has forever changed.

My pregnancies were the greatest times of my life.  I reveled in every little thing and read What to Expect When You're Expecting cover to cover more times than I can count.  It was my Baby-Bible. 

Even though I had been longing for a baby, I was still scared.  Would my husband be excited?  Would the baby be healthy?  Would I be a good mother?  Would the wine tasting I went to before finding out I was pregnant cause Fetal Alcohol Syndrome?

(Can you believe it?  I never drink.  Some colleagues and I take some out-of-towners to a real RI vineyard, do a wine tasting, and 2 weeks later I find out I'm pregnant!  He suffered no ill effects, by the way . . . very smart, very healthy . . . but I was very concerned, especially for the first trimester!)

For lots of women--and their partners--those natural fears are exacerbated by the unexpectedness and the inconvenience of an unplanned pregnancy.  In that state of panic, they often act.  And sometimes they regret a decision that cannot be undone.

This is where CareNet-RI comes in.  Rachel Nguyen, the Executive Director of CareNet (also recently renamed Harmony Women's Care Center), spoke at our church on Sunday.  She observes that while women come into CareNet because they're scared, they often leave confident.  They get honest, accurate information about pregnancy, all the available options, and all the services available.  They get free pregnancy and STD testing . . . and free ultrasounds.  They get the option to come back in a week and do it all again.

And that week, Rachel says, provides space for the Holy Spirit to work.  In that time, they have a plan--they're going back to CareNet in a week.  The pressure to do, to act, to think is off.  They can breathe.  And in that space, many women find that they are less afraid, more courageous, more confident . . . and less willing to give up the life they are carrying. 

I admit that I teared up as Rachel spoke about that sacred "space."  It is not only women--or men--facing a crisis pregnancy who need space.  It is I.  It is you.  It is anyone who finds themselves facing a seemingly overwhelming problem and feeling the unrelenting, panic-driven urge to act, to do something . . . ANYTHING.

Sometimes the best thing we can do is . . . absolutely nothing.  To rest in the Lord.  To wait patiently for Him.  To be still and know that He is God.  To sit and give ourselves--and God--a little bit of space.

So right now, I am praying for all of you.  I am praying that today, you find some space.  A walk in the woods.  A drive in the country.  Some time alone with your instrument or a paintbrush or a journal.  A nap.  Prayer.  Coffee with a friend.  Whatever it is that gives you a respite, I pray it for you now.

Maybe for someone, it will be a visit to CareNet.